About Jamie
Jamie Lavender is a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) practicing in California. He uses a warm, client-centered style to help people feel heard and more grounded. Sessions focus on practical steps people can take to feel better and manage day-to-day challenges.
He has 21 years of experience supporting people with anxiety, depression, grief, stress, and trauma. He also helps those struggling with addictions and impulse concerns, including alcohol, drugs, gambling, and other behaviors.
Background and approach
Jamie emphasizes working at each person's pace and finding realistic changes that can last. Jamie often uses attachment-based ideas to look at how relationships shape feelings and behavior. He draws on cognitive behavioral tools to notice and shift unhelpful thought patterns.
He also uses emotion-focused and dialectical strategies to help regulate strong feelings and improve communication. His approach to addiction is rooted in harm reduction. That means working from where a person is now and exploring options like moderation, temporary breaks, or longer-term changes.
The focus is on lowering harm and building sustainable routines rather than pushing one fixed path. Sessions may cover family of origin issues, intimacy and sexuality concerns including kink and alternative sex culture, body image, parenting and fatherhood stresses, career and caregiving strain, and forgiveness or shame work.
Jamie aims to make therapy a practical space to try new ways of coping and relating. People meet with him by video, phone, live chat, or text messaging. He offers straightforward guidance, listening, and tools to help people move forward at a pace that fits their life.
Using attachment and cognitive tools online
Jamie blends attachment-based work and cognitive behavioral therapy in online sessions. Attachment-based work looks at how early and current relationships affect feelings and behavior, which can help when anxiety or relationship patterns feel stuck. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) focuses on identifying unhelpful thoughts and testing small behavior changes to reduce stress and improve mood. He may also use emotion-focused and DBT skills to help manage intense feelings and build healthier communication.Finding the right approach is a collaborative process. The therapist will talk with each person about goals, what has helped in the past, and what feels doable now. Together they choose strategies to try, adjust them over time, and check what is working so therapy stays practical and relevant.
Online formats include video calls, phone sessions, live chat, and text-based messaging. Video is useful for face-to-face conversation and teaching skills. Phone sessions can be a good choice when bandwidth is low or a shorter check-in is needed. Live chat and text-based messaging let people send questions and get support between sessions or when typing feels easier than talking. These options make it simpler to fit therapy into busy lives and try approaches in real situations.
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What this therapist works with
Most often
- Addictions
- Relationship issues
- Trauma and abuse
Also listed
- Anger management
- Attachment issues
- BDSM, kink, and alternative sex culture
- Blended family issues
- Body image
- Career difficulties
- Caregiver issues and stress
- Commitment issues
- Communication problems
- Compassion fatigue
- Coping with life changes
- Depression
- Divorce and separation
- Drug and alcohol addiction
- Eating and food-related issues
- Eating disorders
- Family conflicts
- Family of origin issues
- Family problems
- Fatherhood issues
- Forgiveness
- Grief
- Guilt and shame
- Impulsivity
- Intimacy-related issues
- LGBT
- Life purpose
- Men's issues
- Midlife crisis
- Mood disorders
- Multicultural concerns
- Parenting issues
- Pregnancy and childbirth
- Prejudice and discrimination
- Process addiction (porn, exercise, gambling)
- Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
- Self esteem
- Self-harm
- Self-love
- Sex addiction
- Sexuality
- Sleeping disorders
- Stress, Anxiety
- Women's issues
- Workplace issues
- Young adult issues
Therapeutic approaches
- Attachment-Based Therapy
- Client-Centered Therapy
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
- Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)
- Existential Therapy
- Gottman Method
- Imago Relationship Therapy
- Mindfulness Therapy
- Motivational Interviewing
- Psychodynamic Therapy
- Somatic Therapy
- Trauma-Focused Therapy
- Internal Family Systems
- Experience
- 21 years
- Licensed
- California
- Languages
- English
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