About Allan
Allan Herem is a licensed marriage and family therapist with 23 years of experience helping people cope with stress and anxiety. He focuses on everyday struggles like low self-esteem, depression, relationship strain, and the pressure of parenting. Allan writes plainly and listens carefully to learn what matters most to each person he meets.
Clients can expect straightforward conversations about what is causing distress and practical steps to reduce it. Sessions often center on communication skills, repairing trust, and setting boundaries.
Background and approach
Allan pays attention to family of origin patterns, attachment concerns, and issues such as abandonment or guilt that shape current behavior. He uses evidence-based therapeutic techniques that aim to change unhelpful patterns and build new skills. Work tends to be active and goal-oriented, with homework between sessions when that helps people practice new ways of relating.
The pace is set by the person in therapy and their immediate needs. Allan treats topics like infidelity, commitment problems, divorce and separation, and the emotional fallout of caregiver stress. He also helps people facing impulses, control issues, and the emptiness that sometimes follows major life changes.
Allan practices in California as an LMFT, which stands for Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Sessions are offered in English and organized around what the client wants to change and how quickly they want to move.
Evidence-based approaches for online anxiety and relationship work
Allan uses evidence-based therapeutic techniques that focus on changing patterns that cause distress. One common approach is skills-based work that teaches communication, emotional regulation, and problem-solving techniques to reduce anxiety and improve relationships. This kind of work helps people notice triggers and try different responses.Another practical approach addresses attachment and family of origin patterns. It helps people understand how early relationships shape current behavior and then practice new ways of relating to partners and loved ones. That work is useful for issues like abandonment, trust, and commitment concerns.
Finding the right approach is part of the process. Allan collaborates with each person to choose methods that match their goals and day-to-day life. He adjusts the plan as progress is made and as new issues come up, so therapy stays relevant and focused on what the client wants to change.
Online sessions are offered by video calls, phone, live chat, or text-based messaging to provide flexibility. Video is often used for deeper conversations and skills practice, phone can be easier when bandwidth is limited, and chat or messaging can support short check-ins or on-the-go work. These options help people fit therapy into work, caregiving, and other routines while keeping the focus on progress and practical tools.
Questions people ask
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What this therapist works with
Most often
- Stress, Anxiety
- Relationship issues
- Parenting issues
Also listed
- Abandonment
- Attachment issues
- Caregiver issues and stress
- Commitment issues
- Communication problems
- Control issues
- Depression
- Divorce and separation
- Emptiness
- Family of origin issues
- Family problems
- Fatherhood issues
- Forgiveness
- Guilt and shame
- Impulsivity
- Infidelity
- Isolation / loneliness
- Jealousy
- Life purpose
- Men's issues
- Midlife crisis
- Money and financial issues
- Mood disorders
- Self esteem
- Self-love
- Social anxiety and phobia
- Workplace issues
- Young adult issues
- Experience
- 23 years
- Licensed
- California
- Languages
- English
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